Death is a Reality

This morning I went to my grandma’s funeral.

I don’t go to many funerals these days, and it’s been awhile since I've been to one at all. I’m at a stage in life when I don’t often think of death. People my age are rarely confronted with the reality of death (unless of course we happen to get really sick in India:  http://biolansinindia.blogspot.com/2011/08/living-to-die.html).

Not many of my friends are dying as twenty-somethings, nor do young adults have as many funerals to attend as my grandparents have. Our bodies are strong and healthy, our futures are bright, our ambitions are huge. We are entering a stage of life when we feel like we can take on the world. We can make lots of money. We feel invincible.

But we’re not.

We are limited and finite and mortal… only a breath upon this earth.

Today I watched as my aunts wept loudly over the empty body of their mother, Jean Alice Murray Mumme, lying peacefully in a casket. I observed seven daughters and a son mourn deeply at the passing of the one who brought them into the earth and loved them and nurtured them. One of her children is my own mother.

I was uncomfortable.

Death is not easy to grasp. It’s painful. strange. confusing. sometimes unbearable, sometimes unbelievable. But death is real, and I want to live my life well in light of it.

A Model of Faithfulness

I stood next to my grandpa as my father and the other pallbearers brought the casket to the hearse. “Sixty-five years,” he muttered in shock. “Sixty-five years… ,” he repeated with words trailing off in disbelief. His wife is now gone.

Yes, my mom’s parents were married 65 years, celebrating their anniversary on October 11. My grandma celebrated her 84th birthday on November 2, 2012, the day before she passed away.

My grandfather lovingly cared for his bride through these last tough years of her being afflicted with Alzheimer’s. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to watch your wife and partner of so many years decline to such a state, but he faithfully fed her by hand and was always by her side—to the very end. He simply said, “I just kept thinking of 65 years ago when we said for better or for worse, sickness or health; there was nothing else to do.”

I admire my grandpa for his fulfilled marriage vow. Robert Mumme is an example to follow.

Peace for the Righteous

Death would be much harder to accept without a belief of eternity.

This morning at breakfast I opened up my Bible to read Isaiah 57. I only got through two verses before one of my aunts sat down with me, but those verses were pointedly relevant for the day:

The devout are taken away, and no one understands

that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.

Those who walk uprightly enter into peace;

They find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2                                      

The words describe the righteous—those who follow God and obey His commands—are at peace when they die. The words of the Bible resound with truth as they present me with comfort. I can be joyful for my grandmother along with the rest of my family; for we believe she is in a better place.

As I scooped a shovel of dirt on top of my grandma’s casket, I had confidence that this is not the final goodbye. My grandma is now free from a world in which her mind wasted away and her body failed her. This world was not her eternal home, and she looked forward to the day when she would go on to heaven.

How about you?

The chapter in Isaiah ends: “‘There is no peace,’ says my God, ‘for the wicked.’”

I don’t know about you, but the idea of judgment scares me. I want to be among the righteous, for whom death is rest from the weariness of this world. I do not want to be counted among the wicked.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” says Romans 3:23, and Romans 6:23 continues the gloomy truth: “For the wages of sin is death…” Everyone has sinned—all are wicked—and God must punish sin because He is righteous and perfect. When we die, we will face judgment.

Yet Romans 6:23 continues on to say, “…but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Yes, the beautiful truth that we Christians deeply believe is, despite our own rebellion against God’s law, God so loved the world that He sent His one and only Son into the world that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).

I am confident my grandmother accepted redemption from her sin and is now with her beloved Savior. I am confident I have received the gift of salvation from Jesus’ death on a cross for me.

How about you? Don’t let this be tacky. It’s not just pithy Christian language. This is the truth for which millions of people throughout the scope of history have given their lives. Think about it. I pray you believe and understand. Consider deeply, for death is fast upon us.

Settling In

I moved into my new apartment in Dallas a month ago, and now I’ve been making this my home. My boxes have been gradually unpacked. My roommate and I assembled an Ikea desk together. I bought a bookshelf and wired up my stereo. It feels like my life is coming together. After some stress, I got my job back and settled into the work routine. My finances are even stabilizing. I’m building study habits for my new classes and establishing new friendships in my community. I guess you’d say I’m settling in.

After a summer of constant transitions—travelling all over the U.S., working in 3 states and visiting friends and family in a few more—I’m no longer living out of a suitcase. I've finally settled into a location, routines… comfort.

I must be careful when I become “settled.” My tendency is to forget my need for God when I “have my life in order.” When I don’t know how things will turn out, I spend a lot more time in prayer asking God to intervene.

One of the hardest things about being a Christian in America is that we have everything we need here. Wealth grants us security. We tend to forget God, rationalize our independence, ignore the spiritual realm. I appall myself with thoughts of such heresy. Yet in the history of my experience, when I am “settled”, I quickly boost my pride and confidence in myself, and quickly develop complacency with sin in my life. The result is that I turn from God, and I no longer have room for Him in my life. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

How do you fight complacency when settling in? Comfort isn’t bad, but how do we avoid the dangers that physical security poses to our spiritual lives?

I have to surround myself with truth, to fall back on disciplines I sought to develop in healthy times of life. The prophet Isaiah writes, “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near” (Is. 55:6). Isaiah is not saying that God is going to hide from us, but instead telling us to seek God even—especially—in the good times. Don’t wait until your storm comes to turn to God. While your life is going well, acknowledge God.

As a Christian, I have another perspective I must bring to mind: this world is not my home.

Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world” (John 18:36). The Kingdom that we Christians speak of and live for is an eternal governance by God—a rightly ordered universe. Jesus tells me I do not belong here; I have a home in another realm.

Maybe you need to hear the call of John the Baptizer: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matthew 3:2). He lovingly beckons: turn now, because soon divine order will be restored to the earth. That order involves judgment. Make sure you’re on the right side.

Life is short—too short to “settle in.” We don’t have the time to get caught up in petty things. I follow Jesus because I believe he came to the earth as God incarnate, sent by His Father, so that He might act as a substitutionary atonement for my guilt of sin by His death upon the cross. God becoming man is the most beautiful thing that ever happened on earth, yet it’s hard to believe in the midst of comfort.

Now that the weather in Dallas has cooled down for the fall, I can cozy up under the awesome new quilt I got from my friend’s mom. I feel secure, comfortable. How will I avoid letting that comfort keep me in bed, paralyze me from a useful life? I will daily renew my mind and attitude by reading the words God gave us in the Bible. I will become a man of prayer, so that I will be continually reminded of my utter need for God, who loves me and hears me. I will develop habits of discipline, not free-floating through life, but creating diligent study habits, rigorous exercise routines, sleeping well, eating well, and loving others well. I will be grateful, praising God with thanksgiving for who He is and how He has blessed me. Why would I settle for less?

When I Am Weakest

Low places. Darkness. Depression. Pain. Confusion. Questioning. We’ve all felt them. I’ve spent my time lying in bed unable to move, because I am discouraged or my spirit is upset.

I often experience the most grace in my life at my lowest points. I feel that in our hardest times we can experience more of God’s grace. It’s still tough, but it’s better by far than being comfortable while remaining distanced from God.

One reason I look back on my time living in India so fondly is because life there was difficult physically, but in that, I experienced God more fully.  I was sick a lot, my intestines never quite felt right, the culture was different and the country frankly isn’t as comfortable as America. Yet in that uneasiness, I learned to better trust God, and for that reason alone I consider my time on mission in India to be the best of my life thus far. (read about it: biolansinindia.blogspot.com)

When we are weakest, He is strongest.

In his second letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul wrote that when he had pleaded with the Lord to remove his thorn, God replied, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (12:9). Paul goes on to say that he will even gladly boast in his weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon him.

Wow. Not something you’ll find me doing often. Paul continues, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Here’s a guy who’s seen it all when it comes to hardship, but he turns weakness on its head in a beautiful paradox and says that Christ in fact is our strength when we are weak.

It’s likely you are more acquainted with suffering than I, but this last year has had its fill of hard times for me.

Last semester starting my master’s degree in a new city with a new job was probably the hardest time of my life yet, and it was mostly psychological. I dealt with loneliness and isolation. I was away from friends in California, distanced from family, too busy for new friends. Yet each time I thought I would break, God provided necessary relief.

One of my answered prayers was when I was trying to plan out my summer. I’d asked my boss if I could transfer to the R+D Kitchen in Newport Beach, California, for a month to be with Biola friends. After waiting and waiting, the answer was… “No”. Ugh. Could I even afford to go back to Los Angeles after all? The night after I heard back “no”, I couldn’t sleep. I felt sick to my stomach. What am I supposed to do this summer?? Plans were not falling into place.

Restlessly I prayed and struggled with God for at least two hours into the middle of the night. I was so confused.

The next morning I awoke to a message from my boss: “Just heard back from the Newport GM. Don’t know why they changed their mind, but they said they WOULD approve a short term transfer.”

Woohoo!!

May have seemed like a coincidence to my boss, but I view this as a direct intervention from God for my good. I was at a low of turmoil and confusion, and after turning that struggle over to God, He provided relief.

Trusting is a habit of confidence that God will provide.  

Despite many, many experiences in my life where God has proved faithful, I still tend to forget to trust Him.

This week, I’ve been trying to return to my job after my transfer to California and my hiatus working camp in North Carolina. I’ve been trying restart for the past week, and now school starts soon. Only yesterday I woke up with anxiety—at my breaking point. After a time of turmoiled prayer, I read Psalm 22. David begins, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?”

I can relate to that. I feel like I’ve been praying hard for weeks that returning to work would be smooth, but it hasn’t been so easy. I had to wait; I got frustrated with God.

But in his despair, when he can “find no rest,” the psalmist turns to God and declares His faithfulness: “Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.” King David continues to speak the history of trust fulfilled: “In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them… in you they trusted and were not put to shame.”

David affirms his trust in God while still in a dark, difficult place. We have to look back at evidence of God’s rescue and redemption, remembering to live with expectation for deliverance.

I took that too heart. Still feeling a bit hesitant to make the phone call, I felt peace and confidence that after seeking God’s will for a couple hours, He would provide for me. I’m amazed at how wonderful a perspective time in God’s Word gave me, and I truly felt sure God would prosper my path at this point.

I called work, and... voilà! My boss kindly apologized for forgetting and immediately scheduled me to come in that night. Just like that. Last night I had a great night back at work; I joyfully felt the truth of Psalm 5:12, "For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield." 

It seems so easy, but that morning the future was turbulently unclear. What I did know is that in the past when I've been anxious, if I turn to God, humble myself, fast and pray, He takes care of me.

This is not Greek; it's Christian disciplines 101.

Remembering God’s faithfulness and acting upon it is a habit that must be nurtured. We learn a practice of turning to God in prayer and humbling ourselves.

Will you believe it? Will you trust the LORD?

“Be joyful in hope,

patient in affliction,

faithful in prayer”

– Rom 12:12

Three Tips To Maintain Sanity While Being Globally Minded

This week I sent a letter to India, got an email update from China, read a blog post from a friend in Vancouver, got a call from my best friend in California, caught up with my cousin in Minnesota, heard from family back in Texas, missed out on my family's gathering in Nebraska, chatted with a friend on Skid Row in downtown Los Angeles, facebooked friends in Dallas, and hung out with campers from West Virginia to Louisiana to Florida while being here in North Carolina.

The world in which we live is increasingly globalized. In many ways the globe has shrunk, but in other ways our perspectives have exploded to unprecedented breadth. We now have the opportunity to see into every country on the earth and make friends there. Personally, I struggle to keep it all in mind. 

I’ve been to a few other countries and have friends in a few more. In U.S. cities I’ve volunteered in a soup kitchen and worked in an upscale restaurant. Rich and poor, old and young, African, Asian, Australian, American and European. We live in an extremely diverse world, and these days you have the opportunity to experience much of it. My white, middle-class, suburban bubble was burst a long time ago.

If you  limit your view of the world, that’s okay. Not everyone needs to think of the whole picture, but I find a broad perspective to be extremely helpful for keeping me well-rounded in thought and habit. Understanding how other cultures use resources, maintain relationships and have fun helps me to find a better way to live myself. And keeping in touch with other parts of the world lets us know how to pray for them.

For those of us who have connections around the globe, seeking to maintain long-distance relationships can be overwhelming. But even if your friends and family are scattered around the planet, you don’t have to be unraveled trying to stay mindful of them.

Here are three tips I’ve found helpful for staying sane while being mindful of the world:

1.      Stay grounded in the Word. Nothing in my life brings me back to truth like reading the Bible every day. The Book is the one most consistent element of my day—besides being a habit, the truths contained in it keep me focused. If I didn’t read the Bible and have others to help me interpret it, I’d be a floundering mess of thoughts despairing of life itself. I’m grateful that we have the Word of God in hard copy, and I love reading it!

2.      Pick a point person from each location you love. You don’t have to keep up with everyone. Don’t try to. But if you want to stay connected to a place you’ve been, be sure you communicate regularly with at least one person from there. For me, this means emailing, facebooking, calling and skyping friends in a number of different locations periodically. I also like to travel to visit them in person, which is far better by far.

3.      Be present where you are. If you cannot enjoy where your body is physically present, you will go insane. Take pleasure in what surrounds you. Soak up a good conversation in a coffee shop or go for a run to mentally photography the landscape around you. If you’re a traveler like me, use social media to keep up with friends, but remember that there’s no time like the present for being with those closest to you in person. 

Relax. Life’s tough and we’re all learning how to best live it, but we can still enjoy being in all seasons. Relationships deepen and fade, but the Word of our Lord stands forever. "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way" (2 Thessalonians 3:16). 

Beginning Anew Again

New beginnings are never easy. They are full of unknowns, fears, learning, vulnerability, and a certain excitement in it all. I am in this process right now. Along with beginning my masters (Th.M) studies at Dallas Theological Seminary, this week I began a new job, moved to a new city, met new friends, and yes, even began a new blog. I’ve just undergone a whole-life overhaul, and many of you have experienced something of the same.

I even got a new Bible. My trusty old NIV Study Bible in its green and mesh cover no longer enters my day as the one familiar item from the past ten years. Even in India I had this comfort, the connection to my thoughts from years past. But thankfully God’s Word remains the same.

I began reading my new ESV Study Bible, turning pages to start in the book of Genesis:

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.”

I opened up my new journal to try out a new commitment to studying the Bible rather than just reading it, and, writing out my observations, found a new truth I haven’t seen before, probably because I am in my own new beginning.

In the beginning the earth was “without form and void”—that’s what my life has felt like with no structure of habits, friends, etc. Up until this week it was all in the darkness. Deep darkness. I didn’t have a clue where I would work. I didn’t know what seminary would be like. I didn’t know anyone. I still don’t know where I’ll live.

But right there in the midst of the deep waters, the Spirit of God is present.

Even though new things in my new life are still taking form, God’s Spirit is there, guiding, protecting, providing, so that I do not have to worry. I never did have to worry, because God created me and loves me as His creation.

The story in Genesis gets even better in the next verse: God creates light. Metaphorically, I’m getting a glimpse of that now… light has been shed in my job search, and now I’m employed. I’m getting a feel for what seminary will be like. I’m learning my way around Dallas. But even more than knowledge of my life, I can walk in light from following Jesus the Christ. He says, “I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” Now that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!

The light Jesus brings is life, and life abundant. At the end of the Bible, Jesus says, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Newness is not bad. It’s quite good, and it’s an opportunity for God to teach us, mold us and use us in ways we never could have imagined in our old lives.